It seems like only weeks ago, we were starting to plan the 2018 Women in Agile Conference when really it’s been many, many months. I could not be prouder of the program team and more grateful for those who volunteered to help make the event a success. It really is impressive when a group of high-energy, creative people with get-it-done attitudes can accomplish.
We were sold out this year at 230 registrants and a waitlist dozens long. Last year we had over a hundred, and the year before that around 80. Love all the support for the Women in Agile community.
Let’s get to the event!
Natalie kicked us off with a warm welcome, an overview of the logistics of the event and really spoke to the reasons why the work we’re doing is so important, and that everyone there was playing a role.
She turned it over to Paul Hammond and Becky Hartman, who gave a brief update to the Code of Conduct and asked for participation in a voting exercise on the frequency of various issues that one may have experienced and/or witnessed. This information will be used in the Agile Tonight segment later this week, where there will be a session on diversity and inclusion and ideas for how to be more proactive to help elevate the learning for everyone. Psychological safety will also be a topic. Looking forward to it.
She opened with her story of the career advice that she was given (which is typical for most women): Don’t say “I think” or “I feel,” “Stop apologizing,” don’t use emoji or exclamation marks and don’t use “uptalk.” Basically, she was being told, “stop being yourself.”
She was also trained on Hypermasculine value:
There’s a belief that these values will lead to billionaire-level wealth. Basically, to be the “most efficient,” you needed to be a jerk. It worked, she was successful and “made a lot of money.” However, she was “deeply unhappy” and “did not like who she had become,” which lead her to write the blog post, Confessions of a Recovering Jerk Programmer.
It helped her see that these traits and behaviors were leading to people burning out and unhappiness and the more feminine traits that women typically bring to the table are being discouraged, which creates this high-stress environment. April believes that there is a balance – we need to appreciate what women bring to the work.
She then describes how the future is compassion. Compassion “helps them get there more quickly,” and while there are seeds, there isn’t compassion in action yet.
She spent time going over what compassion is not. It is not: pity (which doesn’t always include respect), niceness (sometimes you have to speak up in an unfavorable way), politeness (go against social norms) or people pleasing.
Compassion is minimizing the suffering and caring more, and it can be quite fierce. Compassion is when empathy and action come together.
We are all equipped to respond with both compassion and cruelty, and that response is our choice and then we can reflect. This is very true for the need for self-compassion. We need to have compassion for ourselves first and avoid the negative self-talk. Imagine that we’re talking to a puppy. Lack of self-compassion can happen when we compare ourselves to others.
The four circles of compassion are 1) For Self, 2) For Collaborators, 3) Users and 4) All Living Beings.
April includes Imposter Syndrome in the “For Collaborators” circle because she feels that Imposter Syndrome is created by the external expectations we perceive and try to apply to ourselves. She also mentions that we need to be mindful of a “contempt culture” where everyone tries to be the smartest person in the room.
The tips she shares for creation compassion with collaborators include: Empathy, Active Listening and letting go of Right/Wrong thinking (everything is based on perspective.
Other tips she shares include:
- Realize everyone is technical. She wrote a blog post called, “If you can use a fork, you’re technical.“
- Get rid of the term RTFM
- When giving feedback, first thing: 1) is it true, 2) is it necessary and 3) is it kind
- Create Psychological Safety by not placing blame or shame.
In closing, she covered having empathy for users – is the tech that we’re creating engaging or addicting, and constantly ask the question, “how can the tech I’m building be abused?”
It was an amazing keynote, and the wonderful Tamsen Mitchell created the below graphic.
After the break, it was time to break into our groups for facilitated Lean Coffee topics. We had a lively discussion around the topics and were able to get a lot of great ideas and helpful content when the tables shared their biggest learnings.
After the final break, it was time for the Launching New Voices program. I had heard quite a bit of our Proteges’ talks, yet I was blown away by how great they did.
Suzi Webber spoke on Working Collaboratively – the power for treating people like adults, where she shared a story of how she and her son worked through conflict and the techniques that she learned and applied.
Then Farzenah Orak shared she very moving and motivating story about how she was able to overcome setbacks and reach her goals. Impressive all-around!
So proud of our New Voices this year, and can’t wait to see what next year brings! If you’d like to participate in the program, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.
Such a great way to kick off the conference and looking forward to what the week holds!